God, what a title… Maybe I should have just gone with DAF ballads mark 2, because that’s what this year was, unfortunately. It was held in Lausanne, Switzerland, with two fairly stiff hosts who spoke all four of the Swiss languages, without consideration to any viewers who might only speak one of them, or maybe even none. There was very little English used, and all other commentary just flowed from one language into another, without translation. Not good, though I know it could be even worse. (We’ll get to that in a few years time…)
The opening film is way too long and features some kid who travels all over Switzerland yet never actually does anything anywhere. She’s holding a violin but never plays it, takes a pair of skis somewhere yet never uses them, etc. etc. until she finally fetches Celine Dion (in a too-tight blue leather (pleather?) outfit) out of a car so she can sing Ne partez pas sans moi again, plus her new single. Fuck off, Celine, this year isn’t about you anymore. I’m actually glad that the contest is as big as it is these days, because now at least you don’t get these stupid song reprises anymore.
The postcards were pretty shit too, unfortunately, occasionally using slow-mo but mostly using… um, what’s the opposite of slow-mo? Fast-mo? Whatever, it’s fecking annoying, especially when the images also randomly stop for a second to focus on someone or something. They showed some nice Swiss scenery, but the filming style was just too annoying. Also, the music playing over them was pretty crap – wherever possible they played something that mimicked the classic music of that country (you know, Strauss-like waltz for Austria, sirtaki-like music for Greece and for some reason crappy pseudo bagpipe music (on a synthesizer!) for the UK), but the quality was pretty shite.
There were 22 countries competing – all countries from 1988 plus Cyprus – and there was one nul pointer. Also, I’ll say it now: Finland was robbed! Fecking clueless juries…
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Theft and Sorcery 