Ireland took a one-year break from winning the previous year, so this year the contest was held in Oslo, Norway. Morten Harkett from A-Ha was one of the hosts, but while he’s very pleasant to look at, the hosting itself was unfortunately rather slow and stilted. He and his female co-host tried to crack the odd joke, and objectively there were a few funny ones in there, but the delivery was terrible, so it all fell rather flat.
The relegation system of the previous years was ditched for this contest, and instead the 30 countries who wanted to participate had to compete in what was, essentially, a semi-final (apart from Norway of course, since they were the previous winners). The total limit was still set to 23 countries, so seven countries had to be eliminated. Again, since this pre-selection was not televised I am not going to review the missing countries here, but if you go over to Cookiefonster’s review of this year you can see his opinion on them. The short version is that they were all pretty shit, except Germany. Germany’s entry not making it to the final baffles pretty much everyone who ever listened to it (including me), and again it caused a lot of controversy because this broke their perfect attendance record – there is now not a single country left which participated in every Eurovision since its inception (and I should note that Germany haven’t missed one since).
The other six countries eliminated were Denmark, Hungary, Israel, FYR Macedonia, Romania and Russia. In the final itself there were no nul pointers, and the winner was pretty convincing, bringing the contest back to Ireland again, for the last time (so far, of course).
I rather liked the postcards – all the contestants were clearly given a branded rucksack that they packed on video with their favourite things (a lot of kids and pets) in their home country. It then switched to the classic touristy promo of the host country (nice, because Norway is a stunningly beautiful country), and ended with a good luck message to the contestant from an important person in their home country, in their own language. Some were very short, but others clearly made an effort, and I wish I’d been able to understand them all.
1. Turkey – Beşinci Mevsim – Şebnem Paker – Contest ranking: 12th – My ranking: 2nd
Lovely Şebnem will be back next year with a much better song than this one, and that’s saying something, because this one is pretty damn nice. The violin-with-accordion intro sets the scene, and Şebnem’s voice is beautiful. I’m normally not a fan of something that’s over-repeated, but the repeating melody in this song that sometimes falls away, then comes back to the fore again somehow makes it work. This is a really, really good start.
2. United Kingdom – Ooh Aah… Just a Little Bit – Gina G – Contest ranking: 8th – My ranking: 3rd
This is probably the most iconic UK entry of the nineties (and yes, that includes their win next year), at least in part due to that tiny disco-ball dress Gina wears. It became a mega-hit, so in that sense the 8th place is rather baffling, but anyone watching this will have to admit that Gina is hideously off-key on many occasions, so that could definitely explain things (especially given the quality of some of the other singers tonight). So why do I have it third? Well, because a) it’s an insanely catchy song that you can’t help but bop and sing along to, b) she and her backing dancers sell it very well, and c) whenever I listen to this I’m going to listen to the studio version, where she does stay in key. This becomes relevant in future anyway, because my final judgment in many of the recent contests will be based on the studio version of the song, with added comments where necessary to explain any differences with the live-on-the-night version.
3. Spain – Ay, Qué Deseo – Antonio Carbonell – Contest ranking: 20th – My ranking: 22nd
And after such a strong start, Spain gives us this assault on the ears. I’m sure the (Norwegian) commentator mentioned something about flamenco and the Gypsy Kings, getting my hopes up for a nice Spainy McSpainface entry, so to then be served this disjointed, over-waily and vaguely jazzy atrocity is more than disappointing. This guy seems to want to give us the male-voice version of Quien Maneja mi Barca, and it’s fucking awful.
4. Portugal – O Meu Coração Não Tem Cor – Lúcia Moniz – Contest ranking: 6th – My ranking: 21st
This does some structurally interesting things, but I can’t say that I like it much. It feels too disjointed for me, so to me this is only marginally better than Spain.
5. Cyprus – Mono Gia Mas – Constantinos – Contest ranking: 9th – My ranking: 17th
Constantinos smoulders at the camera as he sings a dull piano ballad. The music remains understated, so at least he doesn’t go shouty near the end, but there’s no interesting instrumentation or a lovely melody to keep me interested, so we’re back at things being DAF.
6. Malta – In a Woman’s Heart – Miriam Christine – Contest ranking: 10th – My ranking: 12th
I find it a little strange to hear a barely 17-year old girl sing about what’s in a woman’s heart, and I am also unreasonably distracted by all the squats she feels it necessary to perform as she’s singing. The song itself isn’t bad, but doesn’t go above middling for me.
7. Croatia – Sveta Ljubav – Maja Blagdan – Contest ranking: 4th – My ranking: 15th
This started off quite nice – a slow-ish mellow waltz – and I was prepared to sort of like it, but then Maja decided to throw in a random ear-splitting shriek for no apparent reason. She did it again near the end, and it spoiled what would have otherwise been a quite nice song.
8. Austria – Weil’s dr Guat Got – George Nussbaumer – Contest ranking: 10th – My ranking: 23rd
Oh fuck, gospel. I mean, he can sing, and he can play (and again, impressive given that he’s blind), and it’s all fast and upbeat and all, but I can’t help but feel like I’m watching that scene in the church in the Blues Brothers, except here they take it all seriously. There’s just something about gospel that gets my hackles up (probably the fact that it’s religious), and this style of gospel especially just totally isn’t for me. I think I hate this.
9. Switzerland – Mon Cœur l’Aime – Kathy Leander – Contest ranking: 16th – My ranking: 16th
Is vibrato compulsory when singing in French or something? Good voice and all, but otherwise it’s just a dull piano ballad that finishes shouty.
10. Greece – Emis Forame to Himona Anixiatika – Marianna Efstratiou – Contest ranking: 14th – My ranking: 7th
Ooh, another song in 7/8 beat! (Apparently it’s traditional kalamatiano, according to my old notes.) It starts off really interesting with the percussion, but after that it drops significantly on the interest level. Basically that kalamatiano beat is all that keeps it floating above the dross this evening.
11. Estonia – Kaelake Hääl – Maarja-Liis Ilus & Ivo Linna – Contest ranking: 5th – My ranking: 14th
Hmm, a duet between a fresh-faced teenager and a gravelly-voiced guy probably about three times her age. Thankfully I have no idea what they’re singing about, or I might have to add a massive ick-factor. It’s basically just a dull duet with too much ooohaaahaahoohaaing from Maarja-Liis.
12. Norway – I Evighet – Elisabeth Andreassen – Contest ranking: 2nd – My ranking: 5th
Elisabeth is back again for the fourth time, with her best previous result being the win in 1985 as part of Bobbysocks. This song veers more towards esoteric than ballad, mainly due to some interesting instrumentation. It starts with a pan pipe, and there’s a synthesizer making nice wob-wob-wob noises in the background. I should also say that my title for this year could potentially refer to Elisabeth, because her voice hits every note perfectly – there’s not a single one out of place, which makes a nice change from some of tonight’s entries. This really is pretty damn good.
13. France – Diwanit Bugale – Dar Ar Braz & l’Héritage des Celtes – Contest ranking: 19th – My ranking: 11th
A slow ballad in Breton, and it’s a shame that the language is the most interesting thing about it. They’re not even making the most of the harmonies they could be using here. It’s got a few nice bits, but overall it’s disappointingly dull.
14. Slovenia – Dan Najlepših Sanj – Regina – Contest ranking: 21st – My ranking: 13th
Regina couldn’t look more Irish if she were a leprechaun, with that ginger hair and the Irish-green dress, but the song is a MOR piece of inoffensiveness that won’t stick whatsoever.
15. Netherlands – De Eerste Keer – Maxine & Franklin Brown – Contest ranking: 7th – My ranking: 8th
This sounds exactly like a nineties Dutch Eurovision entry, but please don’t ask me why, because I can’t explain it. It just does. It’s a poppy duet with lots of brass, which doesn’t really do much for me. Not bad, but not my thing.
16. Belgium – Liefde is een Kaartspel – Lisa del Bo – Contest ranking: 16th – My ranking: 9th
The randomised order has managed to put both Dutch-language songs right after each other, and I don’t know whether that’s influencing me into feeling that they’re both very similar, or whether they just are. I like the Dutch entry a little better because it was a duet, and there’s something annoying about Lisa’s voice, but overall it’s just very middling. Also, what a hideous dress!
17. Ireland – The Voice – Eimear Quinn – Contest ranking: 1st – My ranking: 1st
And here is the voice I really meant in my title. Yes, I know that she has a tiny little wobble at the start of the song, while Norway was pitch-perfect throughout, but you have to remember that Eimear was a tender 23 years old here (and by her own admission very nervous), with no experience whatsoever to prepare her for something as big as Eurovision, while Elisabeth was on her fourth outing. If you listen to the studio version of this song, it’s as clear and perfect as anything you’ll ever hear. Couple that with some properly traditional Irish music and it’s completely obvious why this won. It’s almost like it took Norway’s Irish-sounding win of the previous year to make Ireland sit up and think ‘hey, we have more than fucking ballads in our musical repertoire!’ This is the only one of Ireland’s seven wins that I properly adore, and that is despite me normally hating it when women go up into the high registers when singing. So why don’t I mind it here? Simple – she doesn’t sing like an opera soprano, with that piercing quality that assaults your eardrums, nor does she go beyond what’s comfortable, like Mariah Carey is wont to do. This is just a pure, beautiful voice of sublime quality, singing a beautiful song with traditional Irish instrumentation. It’s basically Riverdance – the song, and I love it.
18. Finland – Niin Kaunis on Taivas – Jasmine – Contest ranking: 23rd – My ranking: 4th
Seriously, what is it with the juries and Finland? Last?? Really??? This has a vaguely country feel to it – always a hit with me – with nice strummy guitars, and it’s overall just really nice and pleasant to listen to. Is it just because it came straight after the winner? I really don’t get why something as fucking hideous as Spain ended above this little beauty.
19. Iceland – Sjúbídú – Anna Mjöll – Contest ranking: 13th – My ranking: 20th
Okay, I love, love Anna’s dress, and I want it. It’s much better than the song, which is easy-listening jazz, bleh. On top of that, those endlessly repeated shoobidoos get on my tits very quickly, so that’s a double bleh.
20. Poland – Chcę Znać Swój Grzech – Kasia Kowalska – Contest ranking: 15th – My ranking: 10th
Another quiet piano ballad, probably the best of the three, but I still don’t like it. Too many long, drawn-out notes and too shouty near the end.
21. Bosnia & Herzegovina – Za Našu Ljubav – Amila Glamočak – Contest ranking: 22nd – My ranking: 19th
Amila has the weirdest hairdo I’ve ever seen – and I’ve seen some pretty weird ones in my time – and the song is the slowest of the slow boring ballads. It’s a total snorefest, which may explain her occasional shouts to try and wake you back up. It didn’t work, zzzzzz….
22. Slovakia – Kým Nás Máš – Marcel Palonder – Contest ranking: 18th – My ranking: 18th
I really can’t say more about this than that it’s pretty damn dull.
23. Sweden – Den Vilda – One More Time – Contest ranking: 3rd – My ranking: 6th
This has some lovely harmonies and a really nice melody, overall making for some pretty easy listening. Very nice, and a good song to finish on. It makes the whole contest complete, with a strong finish to complement the strong start.
The interval act begins with some traditional jojking, and then segues into people playing music in the most difficult places you could possibly get to, just to show off. Seriously, two grand pianos on prekestolen is just flexing your ‘hey, look at our awesome countryside’ muscles. Ooh, and that’s Mari Boine, cool! She’s one of Norway’s best known female Sami musicians, so her music is very traditional and includes jojking as well. I’m less of a fan of the weird costumes on the dancers once we get to the studio part, but there have definitely been worse interval acts.
Overall a pretty good contest – some hideous stuff, but also some gems, plus a very deserved winner.
My list of winners:
- Luxembourg – 4 (1956, 1965, 1972, 1973)
- Belgium – 1 (1957)
- Italy – 2 (1958, 1964)
- United Kingdom – 4 (1959, 1961, 1967, 1981)
- Monaco – 1 (1960)
- Netherlands – 4 (1962, 1969, 1971, 1975)
- Denmark – 1 (1963)
- Norway – 4 (1966, 1985, 1993, 1995)
- Spain – 2 (1968, 1990)
- France – 5 (1970, 1976, 1977, 1991, 1992)
- Sweden – 1 (1974)
- Israel – 3 (1978, 1987, 1988)
- Germany – 2 (1979, 1982)
- Ireland – 3 (1980, 1994, 1996)
- Yugoslavia – 1 (1983)
- Turkey – 1 (1984)
- Cyprus – 1 (1986)
- Finland – 1 (1989)
Actual winners that I agree with: 19 out of 41.
Theft and Sorcery 
Hell yes, part 2 of the trio of amazing 1990’s years! I’ve had a rough past few days so it’s nice to get to read this post, on the usual Tuesday evening in my time.
I’m not a big fan of the 1996 presenters either, they didn’t really seem to have much connection to or interest in Eurovision. Much unlike the other years where Norway hosted. 1986 was hosted by a former contestant who gave a speech about how good it feels to win, and the trio from 2010 were also lovely hosts with tons of good gags.
The UK has one of the small handful of Eurovision songs that simply sound familiar to me—there’s no way I hadn’t been exposed to it here and there before becoming a fan. In other words, it’s one of few Eurovision songs to become popular in America. “Run Away” and “Euphoria” are other examples.
I find Portugal’s song to be a real grower, but I understand it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. It ended their era of honest efforts, since from 1997 to 2007 they pretty much didn’t try at all. Odajoana has told you that story before, no need to repeat it.
Your review of Norway made me realize there were so many amazing voices this year! I always get surprised by how well Elisabeth Andreassen can sell an atmospheric song. Damn, this woman is versatile. I watched a podcast interview with her on YouTube once, and she was full of passion about Eurovision and very friendly. I even recall her criticizing the 1996 hosts for not caring about the contest all that much.
I think I can explain why the Netherlands sounds like a 90’s Dutch entry. Those tended to have a funky soul style, other examples are those of 1993 and 1998 (which have the same composer). Apparently it’s the kind of soul you find tolerable though.
“The Voice” might actually be my number one favorite Irish entry instead of “In Your Eyes”, now that I think of it. It’s a tough battle for me, but for you it clearly isn’t. I love that Eimear Quinn avoids the soprano tropes that irritate you and me.
I don’t fucking know why Finland scored last place this year either. I said in my review of it that I hope I don’t forget about that song, and I’m happy to report I didn’t.
I’m amazed, you were positive about even your sixth place this year. A year with six songs (seven if you count Germany) that you truly love, that has to be a new record! If I love this many songs in a Eurovision year, I can safely call it a fantastic year.
I’ve been working on reviewing the 2014 final and right now I’m halfway through. I expect it to be out this coming weekend, which happens to be the last weekend before my Eurovision trip. I’ll probably spend the week after that preparing for the trip instead of writing posts. I haven’t written my review of “Calm After the Storm” yet, but I promise you are going to love it. I will go into extensive detail about what makes the song special, and why I selfishly wish it won.
I think you have a point about the Dutch entries, because I was kind of thinking of 1992 and 1993 both being fairly similar – I’ve not yet re-heard 1998 of course. The writers don’t ring a bell with me, but then they wouldn’t unless they’re performers in their own right (like Peter Koelewijn or Pierre Kartner).
It’s a shame that the presenters were so wooden – I don’t know if it’s due to disinterest or just because Morten is a singer, not a presenter, but it’s a shame nonetheless.
As for Finland… I really do think the juries just never even considered giving them points, in most years, which is just rude. In a way I’m surprised that they never gave up on the contest, and it’s a shame that I didn’t have a Finnish commentator on Reddit to give me their view on the whole thing. Maybe once all the fever dies down for this year on the subreddit I’ll ask a question about it.
And yes, six songs is a record, though I’ve yet to see whether there are any that I love enough to add them to my playlist (at the moment only The Voice is on there). I added an extra one from 1995 to my playlist (Denmark), and I may also add Cyprus and Spain, but I’m still uncertain about place 2 to 6 for this year.
Looking forward to your 2014 review, and I’m actually mainly curious to see what you have to say about Austria. 😉
Hiring singers to host Eurovision is a pet peeve of mine because it’s usually just an excuse for them to showcase their music in the opening act, and because they’re usually not as good at presenting as they are at singing.
I watched a Finnish-language documentary with English subtitles about Eurovision 2007 not long ago, and the first half was focused on Finland’s rough history in Eurovision. It was filled with interviews with prior Finnish contestants. My impression was that Finland at the time kept participating because they wanted to prove themselves as a part of western Europe. The country had to keep steady relations with the Soviet Union back then, which made them feel out of place among the other Eurovision countries.