Category Archives: Uncategorized

Authors Answer 58 – Author Online Hangouts

This looks to be a short post, because I’m about as socially active online as I am in the real world, which means not very active at all. I am also an arrogant sod who mistrusts any advice that comes from total strangers. Why should they know better than me?

Anyway, the question: What are some online forums or websites you use to have discussions with other authors?

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Authors Answer 26 – Impossible love

It’s a lazy Bank Holiday week, and Author’s Answer has obliged by giving me a question which I have already answered previously in this post.

For completion’s sake, the question is If you could date any fictional character, who would you date?

(I could expand on my earlier post and add probably another dozen or so characters, but the fact remains that Fitz is and probably always will be at the top of the list.)

(Also, check out this link – this is probably the best rendition of Fitz I’ve found: http://simieuk.deviantart.com/art/Fitz-Chivalry-Farseer-565196039 *sigh*)

Original post on Jay Dee’s blog can be found here.

Spotlight – Go Leonardo!

This caught my eye in my daily Metro newspaper this week:

Charity

It really warmed my heart, because if I had four million quid to spare, this is exactly what I would do with it.

A number of years ago I made the decision to stop donating to human charities, because I am a (not-so-closet) misanthrope and am of the belief that humans are not worth spending money on. I feel this way in a large part because we are fucking up our planet at an ever-accelerating rate, and in the process of doing so we’re trampling over every single animal that comes in our path. Tigers? Hey, let’s kill them all for ‘medicines’ which never did and never will work. Rhinos? I hear powdered rhino horn gives you the most amazing sexual prowess! Elephants? Dude, I really need some ivory ornaments in my home, because that picture from Ikea just doesn’t cut it. Lions? Let’s go hunting!

Arseholes.

Instead, any charity money I spend goes on animal charities. Specifically to the WWF, specifically for tiger conservation, and I also support the RSPCA, specifically for cat rescue pods. Animals need protection from humans, because if you’re fucking up a human they can at least shout at you for doing so, or ask you why the fuck you’re being such a twat. Animals can’t, so they need all the protection we can give them.*

So there you go, well done to you, Leo, you’re my hero of the week.

*Except pandas. Fuck pandas.

Authors Answer 23 – Point of View

I went to bed as normal last night, but woke up at 1am with the most horrific toothache. It seemed to bounce all around the right side of my head, centering mostly in my middle bottom molar, but generously affecting most of my other molars as well.

Now, I was kind of expecting something like this to happen. I had a filling done in my top right wisdom tooth two weeks ago, and everything felt a bit tender since then. Still, I wasn’t expecting the bottom tooth to be the problem.

Well, it wasn’t. Snagged an emergency dentist appointment at 11.30 and the dentist took three x-rays trying to get a good look at the wisdom tooth (without success), after which she said she was 99% sure it was the wisdom tooth that was the problem, and the fact that all my other teeth were hurting was just a case of referred pain. She gave me the usual options of refilling, drilling out the root, extracting, blah, but I was pretty much lying there going ‘Wah, anything! Just make the pain go awayyyyyy, please!’ so she ended up extracting it.

I must say that when I went to bed last night, I wasn’t expecting to finish today with one tooth less. And everything’s tasted of blood all day. I don’t like the taste of my own blood…

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Authors Answer 21 – The Ultimate Goal

The four-day weekend is nearly over, unfortunately, and I have been blissfully lazy. Back to the grind tomorrow, which leads neatly to this week’s question: What is your ultimate goal with your writing? Fame? Fortune? Changing the world?

Friends of mine will not be surprised to hear that it certainly is not the latter. I’m a very selfish person, and while I won’t go out of my way to make the world a worse place, neither am I the kind of person who volunteers at soup kitchens and knits blankets for the homeless.

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