Oh dear God I’ve had enough of religion. I just want to get this over with and write the post on polyamory that I’ve been mulling about for a while now. If this post feels rushed, it’s because I’m fed up with talking about other people’s imaginary friend in the sky.
So, two weeks ago I left you with the JW assertion that the Bible is both scientifically and historically accurate, which I found quite hilarious. Let’s now delve a little further into just how deluded and annoying this little booklet can be.
After the disappointing bore-fest that my Bible-reading project has proven to be, I was looking forward to going back to enjoyable literature. (And to that effect I have this morning started re-reading Robin Hobb’s Assassin trilogy. Ahh, bliss!) Unfortunately I appear to have a streak of masochism I wasn’t aware of.
Let’s give this Bible book its proper name this week, shall we? And in this last part of my project (hurray!) I’ll also mention what some of you may have noticed, which is my capitalisation throughout. At some point in school, or possibly just through observation I was taught that when talking about God and the Bible, both should be capitalised. God because, well, He is God and the Bible because it’s a holy book. Do I believe this? I think you can probably answer that if you’ve read the previous 28 blog posts in this project. So why do I still consistently capitalise? A combination of habit and a deeply ingrained adherence to the rules. The rules say that God and Bible must be capitalised, just as ‘I’ should always be capitalised in English*, so that’s what I do.
*And ever since I was first taught that rule in school I found it the most egotistical thing I could possibly imagine. German capitalises the polite word for ‘you’ to show respect, but English is all ‘look at how important I am! Respect my authoritah!’
I AM FINISHED! IT IS DONE!
Had to get that out first. I have completely finished reading the Bible. However, I’ve made so many notes on Revelations that I’m splitting it into two posts. I should also say that Revelations didn’t disappoint, despite me expecting it to.
I’m nearly at the end! Wohoo! This week I cover the last few tiny booklets before the biggie that is Revelations. I’m hoping I won’t need more than one week to read that, but we’ll see.
It looks like I won’t be quite done with all things biblical after that, as I have another little treasure to work through: What Does the Bible Really Teach? It’s a mini-book I picked up from the Jehovah’s Witnesses who are picketing the pavement between my bus stop and my workplace once a week. They look very friendly, always smiling, and they don’t actually approach you – they just stand there invitingly holding out their little books. So last week I accepted one. And restrained myself from asking ‘So what does the Bible really teach? Because all it’s taught me so far is an unhealthy obsession with foreskins.’
Goodness, I have nearly two pages of notes this week! Normally I don’t manage more than about one page of highly scribbly, often almost unintelligible script (buses really don’t make for the best writing tables), but I clearly had a lot to say this week. Also, this week’s theme appears to be superlative bafflement.
Yesterday my husband and I watched Thor 2 – The Dark World. The plot in this is that an evil dark elf tries to take over the universe during the alignment of the nine worlds, these nine worlds being those of Norse mythology. Afterwards I tried to note down all the worlds I knew about in Norse mythology, since I couldn’t really remember there being nine. I made it to Asgard (realm of the Aesir, or gods), Midgard (where we live), Svartalfheim (dark elf country, this being one of the ones mentioned in the film), Lysalfheim (light elf country, which is apparently just called Alfheim) and Jotunheim (home of the giants). The ones I missed were Vanaheim (home of the Vanir, or older gods), Niflheim (realm of the dead), Nidavellir (home of the dwarfs) and Muspelheim (home of fire giants and demons).
Well, I must say this week’s section was a veritable treasure trove of revelations and twisted logic. The Second Epistle to the Corinthians is boring as hell, but the First Epistle… wow.
In Dutch these books are De Eerste (en Tweede) Brief van Paulus aan de Korintiërs, with eerste meaning first and tweede meaning second. In Dutch too all these epistles are generally referred to by just the name of the people addressed.
A fairly short section this week, since I spent two days at another office, so my bag was an overnight one rather than my usual work bag, hence no Bible reading.
When I left off last week, the Acts of the Apostles had turned into The Ongoing Tales of Paul’s Preaching, but I guess that was too catchy for the Bible. After the Acts we move on to the Epistle to the Romans. In Dutch it is De Brief van Paulus aan de Romeinen, which means ‘the letter from Paul to the Romans’.
Theft and Sorcery 