Eurovision 1994 – The year with Riverdance

Oh, this year is known for many other things – the first time a country won for the third time in a row. The first country to host two successive contests. The first year with seven new participating countries. The first year with the relegation system. Yet what it will always be most remembered for is Riverdance. We’ll get to that once I’ve discussed the songs.

Oh yeah, the songs. Sigh. This is yet another year with an overabundance of ballads, and I am genuinely running out of things to say about them. I’m not shitting on ballads just for the hell of it, or to piss people off, I simply don’t click with 98% of them, and I do not understand the difference between a good one and a bad one, or one that will score well and one that will score badly. The best I can do is say ‘yeah, this person can sing’ and then I lose interest. So this is yet another year where I don’t love any of the songs, and where the winner is the ‘best of a bad (or at most mediocrely meh) bunch’.

Anyway, about the other things. So yes, Ireland won for the third time in a row, and as at today they are still the only country to have managed this, even if Sweden have equaled them in total wins. Ireland has one more win to go (their best, in my opinion), and then it’s the long slide towards eternal non-qualification for them. Maybe they’ll break their NQ streak this year – by all accounts their song is a little different this year, but we’ll see.

About non-qualifications: by this time Eurovision had got so popular that there were more countries wanting to participate than the EBU had room for. They set the maximum number of songs at 25 and as at 1993/94 introduced a system where the lowest-scoring countries were not allowed to participate the next year. As such we have no entries from Belgium, Denmark, Israel, Luxembourg, Slovenia or Turkey this year (and, of course, Luxembourg decided not to return at all in the end). Italy also did not participate, but of their own choice. Instead there were seven new countries: Estonia, Hungary, Lithuania, Poland, Romania, Russia and Slovakia, with varying levels of success.

(A note on Russia in Eurovision: as I said before, I do not intend to go political in this blog and I will judge each Russian entry on its own merits in relation to my taste. That said, Russia is a shithole country ruled by a megalomanic despot who cares for nothing but his own power and comfort, and who is making the life of every single Ukranian a total misery with his completely unjustified and idiotic war. If Russia were to sink into the ocean, the world would be a much better place.)

Back to the relegation system – it was an absolutely idiotic decision to bar countries from participating on the merit of their song the previous year, rather than the way they do it now, i.e. by judging them on their song for this year. Unfortunately it stayed in place for a decade before they finally introduced the semi-finals that happen to this day. (At least, I think it was a decade – I’m reasonably sure that 2004 had the first semi-final.) The stupid relegation system caused countries like Belgium and later Germany to break their perfect participation record, meaning there is now not a single country that has participated in every Eurovision since it started.

The winner was a runaway one, and there is one nul pointer this year, plus a few that got pretty close. Relegation for you, you failures.

1. Sweden – Stjärnorna – Marie Bergman & Roger Pontare – Contest ranking: 13th – My ranking: 13th

The fun thing about doing this the second time around, and noting all the names of the artists, is that I’m now much more aware of returning artists, or those that are going to return, such as Mr Pontare here. He’ll be back in a few years time (2000? don’t quote me on that) with a much, much better song than this one, because this is just a run of the mill ballad duet. There’s some harmonies, and Roger is a sight to behold with his bright red paintbrush back-of-the-head hairtuft and his amazing costume, but it’s never a good thing when the outfit is more interesting than the song.

2. Finland – Bye Bye Baby – CatCat – Contest ranking: 22nd – My ranking: 7th

Poor Finland are pulling out all the stops to combat the inescapable fact that all their songs are sung in Finnish. The dancers are a little over the top and I hate the ladies’ outfits, which look like the paper underwear that you stick on those flat dress-up dolls. Aside from that though, the song has a little drama to it and a decent enough melody, so I like it better than Sweden, even if they do sound a little out of breath by the end. Unfortunately for them it’s still a song in Finnish, meaning that the juries tanked it. Poor Finland.

3. Ireland – Rock ‘n’ Roll Kids – Paul Harrington & Charlie McGettigan – Contest ranking: 1st – My ranking: 1st

This third of the Irish triptych/hattrrick/trio (whatever you want to call it) is the only one that I actually like. It’s simple and understated, and it has some lovely, lovely harmonies purely designed to win me over. It’s a rather melancholy song about lost youth, but I like my songs sad and I love that they kept it simple all the way to the end rather than going for a stupid crescendo ending. I don’t love this song, but I do like it, and it definitely is the best song of the night.

4. Cyprus – Ime Anthropos Ki Ego – Evridiki – Contest ranking: 11th – My ranking: 3rd

Another returning artist, and the song starts in a lovely minor key. Unfortunately Evridiki is too dramatic for me, even though she has a very good voice. There really is no need to sound so desperate in the quiet bits! Basically, I like the traditional sound of the music, but I don’t really like the singing much.

5. Iceland – Nætur – Sigga – Contest ranking: 12th – My ranking: 12th

Sigga has a very good voice, but the song is so, so boring… There is absolutely nothing here that speaks to me.

6. United Kingdom – We Will Be Free (Lonely Symphony) – Frances Ruffelle – Contest ranking: 10th – My ranking: 6th

Hmm, funk bass, interesting. I really don’t like Frances’ weird iron laurel wreath headpiece, but the dress is nice. I’m not sure what to think of the song though. It’s a little different, true, but I don’t think it’s my kind of style, even if it is decent quality. Basically, it’s only this high because most of the rest of the night is fucking ballads.

7. Croatia – Nek’ Ti Bude Ljubav Sva – Tony Cetinsky – Contest ranking: 16th – My ranking: 25th

Case in point: this is a total Ballady McBalladface. Background singers going wohooohoooo and aaahahaaaah, a trumpet solo, it’s got the lot. Sheesh, are they fucking done yet? This is godawful.

8. Portugal – Chamar a Música – Sara – Contest ranking: 8th – My ranking: 21st

Blah blah piano ballad blah blah dull as fuck blah blah please send help blah blah.

9. Switzerland – Sto Pregando – Duilio – Contest ranking: 19th – My ranking: 22th

In Italy’s absence Switzerland tried to fill the Italian void with yet another sappy piano ballad that suffers from title repetitis. Plus, you’re never going to win a staunch atheist like me over with a title like ‘I am praying’.

10. Estonia – Nagu Merelaine – Silvi Vrait – Contest ranking: 24th – My ranking: 11th

The first newbie really didn’t do well, scoring only two measly points. I don’t think it was that bad, just incredibly middling, but it wasn’t a ballad, so I guess that’s why I have it in 11th place.

11. Romania – Dincolo de Nori – Dan Bittman – Contest ranking: 21st – My ranking: 10th

Another debut, another flop for the juries. From my point of view it’s got a decent piano intro and an interesting total stop before a slight change in the music, but otherwise it doesn’t do much for me. A song doesn’t get to be good just by being vaguely interesting. I like his outfit though.

12. Malta – More Than Love – Moira Stafrace & Christopher Scicluna – Contest ranking: 5th – My ranking: 20th

This has harmonies, yes, but I can’t say that I like Moira’s voice much. Not strong enough in the quiet bits and too shouty in the loud bits. Nope, I don’t like this one.

13. Netherlands – Waar Is de Zon – Willeke Alberti – Contest ranking: 23rd – My ranking: 23rd

So Willeke Alberti is a bit of a legend in the Netherlands, daughter of (by then already dead) entertainer Willy Alberti (no snickering in the back you English-speaking juveniles, Willy is a pretty common old-fashioned name in the Netherlands), but I have to question the choice of sending her to Eurovision. It’s a bit like the UK sending Bonnie St Claire Tyler.* She performs it pretty well, but this is just waaaay to melodramatic for me, and I find it incredibly distracting that she keeps contracting ‘waar zijn je armen’ to ‘waar zijn jarmen’, when it really isn’t that hard to just separate the two words out, even in the space she has in this song. This isn’t just dull, it’s dreary and I don’t blame the juries at all for only giving her four points.

*Oops, Bonnie St Claire is a Dutch singer that no one will have heard of.

14. Germany – Wir Geben ‘ne Party – Mekado – Contest ranking: 3rd – My ranking: 2nd

Ooh, disco! Oh, this is so much better than the string of DAF peace ballads we’ve had to endure for the past few years. This has got a really interesting melody going through it, and it’s absolutely the best German entry in quite a while. It’s not good enough for me to want to permanently keep it, but it’s entertaining enough, certainly at this point in the contest where we’ve been overloaded with ballads.

15. Slovakia – Nekonečná Pieseň – Martin Ďurinda & Tublatanka – Contest ranking: 19th – My ranking: 4th

Another not-a-ballad, just a standard rock song. It’s not unpleasant, but also not memorable, despite the vaguely hunky men (hey, I have a soft spot for long hair on men, okay?)

16. Lithuania – Lopšinė Mylimai – Ovidijus Vyšniauskas – Contest ranking: 25th – My ranking: 17th

Ahh, don’t you just love Slavic languages with their hačeks and other accents that make it really tricky to get the title right? (I cheat and copy over the difficult ones from Cookiefonster’s reviews, since he already did the hard work. Here’s his review for this year.) Another debut, another ballad, this one with a wailing electric guitar intro. The pleather trousers are a terrible fashion choice and the song is pretty dull, which is why it scored nul points, I guess.

17. Norway – Duett – Elisabeth Andreasson & Jan Werner Danielsen – Contest ranking: 6th – My ranking: 16th

Two very good voices, that’s absolutely without any doubt, but dear god the song is so dull… Yes, it’s another ballad if you didn’t guess.

18. Bosnia & Herzegovina – Ostani Kraj Mene – Alma & Dejan – Contest ranking: 15th – My ranking: 15th

A duet ballad with harmonies, but still a ballad so still dull. Nice to see the audience give them so much support though – they were still in the middle of their war at the time.

19. Greece – To Trehandiri (Diri Diri) – Kostas Bigalis & the Sea Lovers – Contest ranking: 14th – My ranking: 5th

Greece, what are you doing? You can’t promise me an ethno-bop by starting this off with a hammered dulcimer and then not deliver on that at all! This is not a ballad, but it’s just bland, and I really don’t understand why the background ladies are wearing negligées. This is only 5th because of the hammered dulcimer!

20. Austria – Für den Frieden der Welt – Petra Frey – Contest ranking: 17th – My ranking: 14th

Petra is totally overpowered by the music, and yet again Austria chose to give us a DAF ‘can’t we all live in peace please’ effort. There is absolutely nothing special about this at all.

21. Spain – Ella No Es Ella – Alejandro Abad – Contest ranking: 18th – My ranking: 19th

This guy is of the Eros Ramazotti school of singing and I really don’t like it. It wouldn’t be so bad if the song could carry it, but the music is as bland as a meal without salt. Next!

22. Hungary – Kinek Mondjam el Vétkeimet? – Friderika – Contest ranking: 4th – My ranking: 8th

Finland must have been seething that a language as obscure as their own got the recognition they never got, and on their debut too! I mean, this is a decent song, kept simple with a guitar and a very clear-voiced singer. I don’t like it, but I admire it for its simplicity, so I’m not saying it didn’t deserve its fourth place, but I do wonder why this didn’t get the Finland treatment.

23. Russia – Vechny Strannik – Youddiph – Contest ranking: 9th – My ranking: 24th

This next debut is a shouty power ballad with a very interesting dress that she uses to keep giving herself a different look. Like the dress, hate the song.

24. Poland – To Nie Ja! – Edyta Górniak – Contest ranking: 2nd – My ranking: 18th

The last of the debuts, and the most successful of the lot as far as the actual contest is concerned. For me this is yet another ballad, and at the end of the evening I just don’t know what to do with these anymore. How to rank it? Is piano better than guitar? Is a piercing-voiced duet worse than a shouty chorus? Do I give more weight to a good voice? Do I actually even care anymore at this point? I’m just going to chuck this somewhere in the middle of all the other ballads and have done with it.

25. France – Je Suis un Vrai Garçon – Nina Morato – Contest ranking: 7th – My ranking: 9th

France continue their trend of slightly unusual songs. I hate her outfit (probably my Barbara Dex for the night), but the song is okay. Not great, but okay – at least until she starts shrieking, ow. Hey, at least it’s not a fucking ballad…

Having survived that I sat down to enjoy the real showstopper of the night – Riverdance. And I’m not even going to try to come up with something new to say about this, because I don’t think I can do it better than I did four years ago on Reddit:

I’m not sure I can properly describe what I felt when I first watched that. I don’t think I even knew at the time that I liked Irish music (other than Clannad maybe, but I honestly don’t know whether I already knew about Clannad in 1994 (Actually, I probably did – I was 20 at this point, and I knew of Clannad from Robin of Sherwood, which I definitely saw before I was 20. Anyway)). When it first started I was maybe a little underwhelmed – some soprano warbling with a choir in the background, meh – but then Jean Butler entered the stage and started to dance, and the music changed to something ethereal with a bouncy violin. Then you get the drums (I love drums!) and Michael Flatley doing his thing, and the music has this really intricate beat, and then all the other dancers come in (and until then I’m sure I’d never seen proper Irish dancing either) and it builds up and it’s so synchronised! and I was basically blown away. I got goosebumps watching it, and no matter how many times I’ve seen this performance, and the stage show, and the video of the stage show, it still gives me goosebumps now. There has never yet been any interval act to surpass or even match this. It also must have blown away the entire contest, because I know I watched this live, and I literally don’t remember a single song. I only remember Riverdance, and frankly, as far as I’m concerned it’s the only thing worth remembering from this year.

I stand by that opinion. Rock ‘n’ Roll Kids is a decent enough song, and I can actually hum it still a day later, but Riverdance is what this contest will always truly (and rightly) be remembered for. For those interested, they developed it into a full stage show, which is decent but contains too much non-Irish stuff (it kind of tells the story of Irish migrants to America), and then Michael Flatley came up with The Lord of the Dance, which is triple-double-fecking awesome. It’s Irish dancing at its finest, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

My list of winners:

• Luxembourg – 4 (1956, 1965, 1972, 1973)
• Belgium – 1 (1957)
• Italy – 2 (1958, 1964)
• United Kingdom – 4 (1959, 1961, 1967, 1981)
• Monaco – 1 (1960)
• Netherlands – 4 (1962, 1969, 1971, 1975)
• Denmark – 1 (1963)
• Norway – 3 (1966, 1985, 1993)
• Spain – 2 (1968, 1990)
• France – 5 (1970, 1976, 1977, 1991, 1992)
• Sweden – 1 (1974)
• Israel – 3 (1978, 1987, 1988)
• Germany – 2 (1979, 1982)
• Ireland – 2 (1980, 1994)
• Yugoslavia – 1 (1983)
• Turkey – 1 (1984)
• Cyprus – 1 (1986)
• Finland – 1 (1989)

Actual winners that I agree with: 17 out of 39.