Let’s get back to my scheduled Monday, shall I? Things have been a bit hectic at work recently, which has thrown out my routine a bit. I don’t particularly like that – I’m a creature of habit, so big changes make me grumpy. My husband can testify to this – spontaneous outings are not my thing, and I tend to like surprises only if you tell me well in advance that I’m going to get one.
Anyway, this week’s question is a pretty short one: Do you write about any controversial topics?
Initially I thought this was going to be a very simple ‘no’. I have an extreme dislike of conflict (note to my husband: domestic arguments do not count), so I have a tendency to avoid that sort of stuff (unless it’s plot-related, of course).
But then I remembered that I’m writing a bunch of short stories involving polyamory, which I suppose may be pretty controversial to some people. Also, I spent the better part of a year tearing apart the Bible on this blog, and I’m still amazed that I didn’t get any devoutly religious people tell me that I’m destined to go to hell.
As with all these questions, it all boils down to your viewpoint. To some people, me telling the world that the Bible is full of contradictions and little of it makes sense is not controversial at all – it’s the simple truth. To others, that same statement is sheer blasphemy.
Similarly, some people may say that polyamory is unnatural, divisive and ultimately destined to failure, with the possibility of ruining a monogamous relationship that existed prior to the introduction of a third person.
Which may be true, in some cases. Polyamory is difficult – many monogamous relationships don’t pass the test of time, so how much less likely is it when you throw a third person into the mix? My only answer to that is that thing that – in my opinion – is the foundation of all relationships: trust and honesty. As long as all three parties are in it with their eyes open, and as long as they always remain honest to each other, failure becomes less likely.
I should also reiterate that I’m talking about true polyamory here – not one guy who has two girls or one girl who has two guys, but three people who all love the other two. I’m not saying that they all have to love each other equally, but as long as they all know where they stand, there is less room for things to nosedive.
Slightly related: I saw some random post on Facebook a few weeks ago, which had a bunch of fairly random statements such as ‘x % of marriages fail, but I’m still getting married because I’m in the other x %’ and ‘the chances of winning the lottery are 1 in whatever, but I enter because I have better numbers so I stand a better chance’, stuff like that. It finished with saying it’s all bullshit and you’re a fool for thinking like that.
It pissed me off. Here’s my response to that post: Yes, x % of marriages fail, but I still got married. Why? Because I love my husband. Statistics don’t enter into that. Also, I don’t enter the lottery because I think my numbers have a better chance of winning. I enter the lottery because you can only win it if you’re in it. I’ll gladly pay a couple of quid per week for that one in a million chance of being able to do whatever the fuck I like, and being able to donate several million to tiger conservation.
Original post on Jay Dee’s blog can be found here.